Our lonely souls
by Ambertotallyawesome
Summary: Matthew and Gilbert have always been on their own, avoiding most people. Gilbert had Antonio and Francis of course, and Matthew had his brother Alfred. Nothing was the same once they finally met. Human names used, T for Lovino/Romano and Gilbert/Prussia... PruCan, Spamano, USUK and maybe some other pairings
1. the meeting

The harsh, bright rays of sunlight had finally hit Matthew's eyelids. He squinted, _'why does morning always have to come so early?' _he asked himself. One of the weird things about Matthew Williams was that he always had really good dreams when he either had to get up earlier than usual, or he just got less sleep, it was like his brain pitied him and tried to make him feel better, but he could never remember the dreams, at least not fully, only flashes and small details remained.

This morning all that he could remember of his dreams from last night were a pair of gleaming, bright, red eyes, Matthew struggled to recall more, but his memory failed. _'Oh well, I guess it's time to get up now,' _he sighed, while throwing back the covers on his bed. _'Really the only good thing about mornings would be breakfast food, the very best type of thing that you would ever want to consume.'_ Matthew heard a growl through the wall coming from the guest room, _'oh crap! I completely forgot that Alfred was here, how could I do that? I swear he's one of the most annoying, loud, and obnoxious people on the face of the earth,_' Matthew headed toward the kitchen, _'I mean, I know that Alfred grew up with dad, and I grew up with mom, we've both had different pasts, but how can brother's be so different from each other? We seem like complete opposites, he's always been very repellant and self-confident, while I've never really had the nerve to be able to do that kind of stuff"_

"Hey Mattie, aren't we going into town today?" Alfred asked as he walked into the kitchen sleepily.

"I guess we can, if that's what you want to do, you are the guest here," he answered as he started to prepare some pancake batter.

"Alright, well is there anything that you want me to do for this whole operation?" He gestured toward the pancake ingredients that Matthew was mixing together.

"I would prefer if you didn't," he paused, "well now that I think of it, can you go get the maple syrup from the pantry? I finished all of the stuff from the fridge."

"Sure, anything I can do to help," he replied.

'_Good, that'll take him a while; I really hate it when there are people in the kitchen when I'm cooking,' _he thought as he started to ladle the patter onto a hot and greased pan, _'God, I really don't feel like going anywhere today, but since Al is staying here because his house was having some repairs done, it would only be right to let him decide what we are going to do today.'_

"Um, Mattie? What kind of maple syrup? You have, like, 500 bottles of the stuff," Alfred asked, sounding very confused and quite concerned for his younger sibling.

Matthew smiled, "oh, just any of them will do."

"Ok then," he came back up the stairs holding a glass of the golden liquid, "you know, I think that you just might have a slight substance abuse problem Mattie."

"What, with maple syrup? Come off it," Matthew said jokingly.

"No, I'm being completely serious," he said, "and you say that I eat unhealthily, gosh," he grinned.

"Well, it was on sale, mind you," he defended himself.

"So you stocked up for the Zombie Apocalypse? That will last twenty years?"

"No, only about 20 of them, I do use it a lot so I don't really want to run out, or something, like, what if I had a massive breakfast party or something? I would be prepared."

"Oh right, and with who, may I ask?"

"I don't know, just drop it ok? It's not like it's heroine or some other drug," Matthew pointed out as he handed his brother a plate stacked with pancakes.

"True, I guess it is better that you're addicted to maple syrup than being a druggie," he admitted.

"I'm not addicted," Matthew protested.

"Totally, and pigs can fly."

"Well, you've been in an airplane before right?"

"Oh, very funny, ok let me use a different analogy, the sky is green," he said sarcastically.

"Oh, shut up, will you? I don't even think that is a real analogy anyway"

Alfred only replied with a smirk.

* * *

After breakfast, Alfred suggested that they should go and do something because Matthew didn't really get out all that often. Matthew reluctantly agreed, _'well, I do need some things from the market anyways.'_

* * *

"Alfred! This is defiantly NOT a quick detour!" Matthew exclaimed.

"Oh lighten up Mattie, this is supposed to be _fun!_" Alfred had said that they should stop somewhere for a little while, even though all that Matthew wanted to do was go home, it turns out that Alfred was thinking something more along the lines of an amusement park. He pulled into an empty parking space, turned off the engine, and smiled gleefully at Matthew, "come on, you used to love this place when we were kids, _please?_"

'_Oh crap, he actually said please, this must mean something to him, I can't refuse now'_

"Fine, as long as you're paying"

"YES!" Alfred cheered in success.

'_Today is going to be a very long day isn't it?' _Matthew thought sullenly.

* * *

Matthew and Alfred stumbled off a ride like they were just toddlers learning how to control their limbs.

"Ok, I have to admit, that was fun," Matthew said in defeat.

"I told you! See, if it wasn't for me, you would never get out of that stuffed up house of yours. You never get out and do fun things anymore, you really need to take a break once in a while," Alfred said plainly.

"I guess so," Mattie admitted.

"Hey look, it's Francis!" Alfred pointed towards the Arcade section. He started heading in their cousin's direction.

"Oh, god, Antonio is with him too," Matthew was not looking forward to this, after having such a good day so far, he didn't want to be ignored and forgotten.

"That means that Gilbert is probably around here somewhere!" Alfred sounded excited.

"Who's that?" Mattie was confused, he usually could remember everybody's names and faces if people could remember him and notice that he wasn't his brother, he would be a very good people person.

"You have got to be joking, all that time that you used to spend with Francis and you've never met him?" Al stopped dead in his tracks in disbelief.

"I guess," he admitted. Finally, Francis and Antonio spotted them. Francis called over to a guy with paper white hair wearing a black T-shirt and faded black and grey skinny jeans that were ripped. He was playing one of the many arcade games with his back turned. He herd Francis calling his name and turned his head to se what he wanted, causing him to lose the game he was playing.

"What the hell do you want? You just lost me this game!"

"Come over here, my cousins are here."

Matthew watched as Gilbert made his way through the crowd and over to where Antonio and Francis stood.

"Bonjour, Mattie, Alfred," Francis greeted.

"Hola peoples," Antonio was slightly distracted, looking over in the distance, "if you don't mind, I'll go catch up with Lovi," and walked off.

"Hi, I haven't seen you guys in ages!" Alfred remarked.

"I suppose so," Francis pondered the thought.

"Hello, sorry, but I don't remember if I've ever met you," Matthew directed at Gilbert.

"I don't believe that we _have _met before, so there is no reason for you to be sorry," he said with a tone of false confidence. It's surprising how well Matthew could read people, considering that he didn't go hang out with anyone anymore. "But the awesome me will accept your apology, regardless if it was necessary or not."

'_Ok, this guy either is really full of himself or he's just faking it... he does seem like the kind of person to do something to not worry his friends,' _Matthew thought to himself.

There were a few awkward moment of silence between the four of them, which Alfred promptly shattered.

"Is that pizza on a stick over there?" Alfred pointed to a stand that did indeed say 'Pizza on a stick'

"Congrats, Al, you know how to read, but seriously, that looks revolting," Matthew sighed as his brother immediately headed over to the stand, "all that is, is cheese, pizza dough, and pepperoni bits that are deep fried."

"Exactly my point!" He shouted over his shoulder.

"I should make sure that he doesn't do something completely stupid," and Francis followed.

"Ok, even _I_ think that sounds gross, and that is saying something, I will basically eat almost anything," Gilbert said in disbelief, staring at the two that went to stand in line for a heart attack on a stick, taking his sunglasses off, and reveling his ruby like eyes.

Matthew found himself dumbstruck, looking at Gilbert's eyes and just being able to stop himself from gasping out loud. They were exactly the same as the ones in his dream that he had just the night before. Gilbert caught Matthew looking at him.

"Whoa, birdie, is something on my face or something?" he sounded concerned, "you look like I had just punched your grandma or something."

"Sorry, I'm fine, it's just, I've never actually seen someone that had red eyes before, are they coloured contacts or something?" Matthew said feeling embarrassed, "sorry," he said again.

"Oh, that's alright, I get that all the time, along with my hair, it's completely natural."

"No, I really shouldn't have been so rude," he insisted.

"Don't worry about it, seriously, it's fine."

"No, I feel bad about reacting so badly."

"It's not your fault, I'm just weird like that," he smiled.

"But-"

"Oh, just stop that, so far out of what I have seen of you today, you are one of the most polite people that I have ever met."

"Oh really, and why should I believe that?"

"Trust me, I am a man of my word," he said as he put his hand over his heart, "If you don't believe me, ask Francis, Antonio, or hell, even my brother Ludwig, they know me better than anyone else."

"Antonio kind of scares me a little, for some weird reason," Mattie said quietly.

"What? That is ridiculous; Antonio is one of the nicest guys I know!"

"I know, I think it has something to do with Lovino acting like he's going to send the Mafia after everybody that gets on his nerves all the time."

"Then your problem is with Lovino, rather than Antonio."

"Well, I think that if I actually got to know him, then we might end up being good friends, after all, I've had to deal with Alfred for most of my life, so I'm kind of used to being around loud people."

"Well, we could go and meet up with them," he offered.

"No, that's fine, I have a feeling that Antonio wanted to be alone with him."

"Well who cares?" Gilbert asked happily.

"I do, I don't want to go intruding in on their privacy, it's not really the best way to get to know people, when one of them is slightly annoyed with you," Matthew said, "and plus, I wanted to get to know you a little bit better."

"Oh yeah, are you getting fond of me or something," he said sarcastically with a slight look of surprise on his face, "well, what do you want to know?"

"I don't know, I just want to know more about you, or why I haven't ever met you before since you are such good friends with Francis."

"Well, to be completely honest, I really do not like hanging around people I don't know very well, so if Francis ever said that he was having family over or something, I would tend to avoid that sort of thing," he admitted.

"I'm a lot like that too, but it's mostly because of people ignoring me, forgetting who I am, or mistaking me for Al."

"What? You look completely different! For one thing, your hair is slightly longer, lighter, and it's kind of curly-ish and wavy like, secondly I'm pretty sure that his eyes are a lighter blue, and yours are more of a deep ocean blue with some purple, thirdly, you are a bit shorter than him. And this is only the physical stuff, I mean, your personalities are on the opposite sides of the spectrum! Since the first time I met him, I've never particularly liked him, he's loud and not really the brightest, in the most unawesome way! I myself am proud to be annoying and loud, but of course, I practice the awesome kind," he looked at Matthew with the silliest grin on his face. _'To be honest, I have no clue what to think of him, he's just so confident, but, it's not obnoxious, it's mostly joking, I think. I feel like I can be myself around him and not have to worry about anything,' _Matthew thought, _'he really seems to care enough to notice all of the small details at least.'_

"Well, thanks I guess, nobody really has ever paid that much attention to me before, especially since I've only known you for what, a little less than half an hour?"

"I guess, I can just tell that you needed the reminder that you are your own person and that you should be treated as such."

"You sure seem to have a way with words," Matthew remarked.

"Well, I've always wanted to be a writer, though I don't really think that I have the skill or creativity for it," Gilbert sounded a little disappointed.

"Oh, I highly doubt that, you seem like the kind of person that is always in their own little world."

"I guess you could say that, wow, you are really good at reading people Birdie, it seems like I can't hide behind any bullshit with you," Gilbert smiled as he glanced at Matthew.

* * *

"God that was a mistake," Alfred said.

"This is all your fault, dumbass," Francis replied. Alfred was sitting on the floor in a washroom stall, throwing up what was left of the greasy "Pizza on a stick" into a toilet.

"It tasted so good! All that cheese and chewy deep fried dough! Who knew it would end like this?"

Shut up you fat-ass! You are the reason why I defiled my mouth with such an unworthy thing that you call food. As soon as I get home tonight, I am cooking myself that won't give me heart problems later in life!" Francis snarled.

Alfred opened the stall door, and proceeded to the sink, "Oh good for you and your so called gourmet cooking, I've had it, and it wasn't even that good!"

"You dare insult my cooking? I spent four years in culinary school!, Just think about what you just ate! You had three of those disgusting things and the rest of mine because I just couldn't deal with all of that grease in my mouth!"

Just them, the door opened to reveal someone with bright emerald eyes and messy blond hair with punkish clothes.

"Arthur," Francis retorted bitterly.

"Oh, it's you, I didn't know that you would be here," Arthur replied curtly.

"Well, obviously not, it's not like I have to tell you everything I do and where I go just so we'll never have to see each other again."

"Oi! Francy pants, who's this?" Alfred asked.

"This is one of the most stuck up people you will ever have the displeasure of meeting, Arthur Kirkland."

"Let my guess, old boyfriend?"

"Unfortunately."

"No need to be rude Francis, anyway, Hello Arthur, I see you have had the most inconvenience of having to deal with my absolutely horrible cousin, I'm Alfred."

"Um, Hi Alfred, it's a pleasure to meet you, but I wish it would have been under different circumstances."

"Oh don't worry, I'm only here with him because we're setting up his friend with my brother, speaking of that we totally lost them."

"Crap! I totally got distracted from that! This is all your fault dumbass!"

"Frog, there is no need to be snappy, this is the best thing you could do, leaving them alone, if there was any chance of them being together, this is the best opportunity for them to get to know each other," Arthur said.

"Oh, and when did you become the expert on relationships?" Francis asked sarcastically.

"I'm not an Expert and I never said that I was, but, I always better at setting them up rather than being in one," Arthur admitted, "anyway, who are the lucky people?"

"Gilbert and Matthew," Alfred promptly answered.

"Who's Matthew?" Arthur asked.

"My brother," Alfred replied.

"What's he like?"

"Well, he's really quiet, polite, and shy. He looks a bit like me, except his hair is lighter, wavy and a bit longer. His eyes, unlike _my_ sky blue gems; his are a deep-ish purpley blue colour."

"Hmmm... I don't know, but I think that Gilbert deserves someone that really cares about him after what Elizabeta did to him."

"As much as I hate to agree with you, I think you're right. It pains both me and Antonio to see how much she destroyed him emotionally, even thought he tries to hide it, he hasn't been the same after that."

"Even I see a difference in him, and I hardly ever see him," Alfred commented, "hopefully him and Mattie will work out, I think that they would be good for each other.


	2. Getting to know each other

"You know, I'm kind of getting to get a little worried about those two, we haven't seen them in a while," Matthew said.

"We'll be fine, if they need us, they'll just text or call," Gilbert pulled out his phone.

"Oh, of course, but don't you find it a little weird?"

"Well, now that I think about it, it has been a long time since we last saw them. Maybe they went to fine Antonio and Lovino."

"Maybe."

"Hey, do you want to go on that?" Gilbert asked as he was pointing to the largest roller coaster in the entire park, "'Shipwrecked' sounds like fun right?"

'_Oh god, that looks terrifying.'_

"Sure, why not?" Matthew said, his voice was laced with false confidence.

"Sweet! And the line isn't even that long, come on," he said as he grabbed Matthew's hand as they half ran half jogged to the ride.

* * *

"Just a question, are you from Europe or something? It sounds like you have an accent," Alfred asked Arthur.

"Yeah, I'm from England, I moved here in the eleventh grade," Arthur smiled as he answered.

"Oh yeah, so why did you move?"

"Just family issues, boring stuff like that."

"I see, my family is pretty complicated as well, my mom raised me here and my dad took Matthew up to Canada when we were little, and about five years ago, our dad died so Mattie moved back here."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, how did your mom, react to that?"

"I honestly think she was glad to get rid of him, but she was always kind of cold toward Matthew though because he and dad were very alike," Alfred said sadly.

"That must have been horrible; at least he had a good brother like you then."

"I don't really know, I was never there for him when he needed it, to be honest I think I was a terrible brother."

"Hey, chin up; you're doing this for him aren't you?"

"Yeah, I suppose."

"See, if you weren't a good brother you wouldn't be doing this for him, anyway, we need to find them to see if it's going well or not," Arthur said.

"So basically, we're stalking them?" Alfred sounded interested.

"You could say that."

"Why are we bothering? I could just text him and ask him where they are!" Francis was getting quite annoyed, his cousin and old boyfriend obviously had chemistry, and it was so plain that they both liked each other. It was making him feel horrible; he still hadn't gotten over the English man. How could he? Arthur was the first guy that he ever went out with, he had gone out with plenty of girls, but, Arthur; _he_ changed everything in Francis's life.

_Francis, Antonio, and Gilbert were in the cafeteria of their high school, it was Thursday, October 27and Hetalia High had just gained a new student from England. And to the great displeasure of a certain Francis Bonnefoy, all of the girls were going mad for him. _

"God, it's only because of his stupid accent, as far as looks go, there is no one more fabulous than me," _Francis sighed, _"once they get over it, they will all come running back to me begging for forgiveness."

"Because they were all over you before he came here," _Gilbert said sarcastically, _"they were totally hailing you as the god of super sexyness."

"Only a handful of the very bravest dared to venture to all of _this _loveliness," _Francis gestured to himself._

"I bet they think they just can't handle it," _Antonio joked._

"What, I'm French, it's just in my nature to be this sexy."

"Riiiiight, anyway, what's his name again?" _Gilbert asked._

"I think its Arthur Kirkland or something like that," _Francis answered._

"So, he already knows his name, knows that he has a nice accent, and is boasting about his own so-called 'sexyness.' How long do you think it's going to take?" _Gilbert asked Antonio._

"Hmmm, I don't know, maybe a month tops."

"I give it two weeks for him to at least make a move."

"Fair enough, how long is it going to last?"

"Well, if the guy actually goes for it, I say, at most 6 months, and at least a month," _Gilbert estimated._

"Oh, so you think it's going to last, for his standards, ok well, I say at most 3 months, and at least two and a half weeks."

"Excuse me for interrupting, but what the hell are you two doing?" _Francis asked, sounding annoyed._

"Betting on your relationship status with the newbie," _Gilbert smiled._

"Do you two do this regularly?"

"No we don't do it for all of the hopefuls, but only the ones that are the most promising," _Antonio answered, _"So only every once in a while."

"I see, but what makes you think that I'll go for him? Have you seen him, god, those eyebrows are just horrendous!"

"Ooh! So, he's already taken the chance to critique his appearance! He's only just got here earlier today! I'm shortening my bet on how long it'll take to less than a week to a week and a half," _Gilbert said._

"Oh, will you two shut up about this, you are being ridicules! It's never going to happen, he repels me."

"The first sign of love is denial!" _Antonio said happily._

"I'm pretty sure that's something else like schizophrenia."

"Oh, right, well it works for love as well!"

"I am NOT in love with him! God you guys are so annoying!"

"Um, is it ok with you guys if I sit here?"

_Francis looked up behind him to see a bright pair of emerald eyes._

That was the first time that Francis and Arthur met, and Francis never forgot it, and now his cousin was flirting with the man that he loved, he would trade the world for Arthur to love him again.

* * *

Gilbert and Matthew were approaching the end of the line of the gigantic ride 'Shipwrecked' and Matthew was getting quite nervous. He always hated any of the really big rides and avoided them at all costs, but for some reason, all Matthew wanted to do was be with Gilbert, he was just really fun to be around.

"Hey Birdie? What's up, you look like you're going to be sick or something." Gilbert sounded genuinely concerned.

"Oh, it's fine, it's just the anticipation."

"I know right? This looks awesome! Almost as awesome as me! But, alas, there will never be something that is as or more awesome than me."

There were a few moments of silence.

"Hey, Gil?"

"What is it, Mattie?"

"Why do you keep calling me Birdie?"

"Why do you keep answering to it?" Gilbert laughed, "I don't really know, it just sort of fits you, and you kind of remind me of a pet bird that I once had."

"Oh yeah? Tell me about it."

"Well, his name was Gilbird, named after the awesome me of course. He was kind of quiet and small, his feathers were sunshine yellow, the same colour of your hair to be honest."

"He sounds really cute."

"He was," Gilbert smiled, "I got him for my fourth birthday and he used to just hop up onto my shoulder or on top of my head. He really was the best. I cried so hard when the poor thing died; it was only a few months ago too."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, he lived a long and full life though, so that's good. Just think of all the great times that you had with him, you must have given it a really good life."

"I guess so."

They drew closer and closer to the end of the line, _'Oh dear god, I don't want to do this, it's terrifying,' _Matthew thought as he heard the screams from above him.

"Next," a gruff voice said

'_Oh god, shit, there's no turning back now.'_

* * *

"THERE! I found them!" Alfred pointed over to where he saw Gilbert and Matthew, looking through a pair of binoculars, "oh god, they're getting onto "Shipwrecked'? What the hell did Gilbert do to him to convince him going on there! He's terrified of bigger roller coasters, and they're getting onto the biggest one here!"

"Well, that means either two things, one: that Matthew really likes Gilbert and is willing to face his fears for him, or two: Gilbert is threatening him or something of the sort. It might just be me but the first option sounds more likely, because Gilbert really doesn't seem like the 'threatening someone just to go on a roller coaster' type of person, do you?" Arthur observed.

"He doesn't seem like it but, my baby brother would never do that willingly!"

"Well, see for yourself," Arthur said pointing at the binoculars around Alfred's neck, "he's smiling."

* * *

It was taking everything Matthew had to not burst out in tears or scream his head off, _'oh god, why on earth did I agree to this?' _Matthew's knuckles were turning white from him tightly hanging on to the metal harness type thing that was the only thing that was going to keep him from falling however far and breaking every bone in his body, _'we haven't even started moving yet, I wish they would just get it over with, this is killing me, just waiting here.' _ Almost the instant he thought that, they started to be pulled slowly up the first part of the ride.

_Clunk, clunk, clunk._

'_Oh maple, I can't do this, I can't do it."_

They arrived to the top of the track and stopped, _'It's like they know that I'm terrified of heights and they want to torment me.'_

They were all still in suspense, seconds passed, it felt like minutes to Matthew, and then they were speeding towards the ground. They twisted and turned, in circles and loops, sudden, sharp turns and jagged zigzags.

"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" Matthew couldn't stop himself from screaming on the top of his lungs.

He heard Gilbert beside him yell, "WHOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOO, OH YEAH!"

'_He's mental, off of his rocker, completely out of it, and freaking crazy.'_

* * *

"Ok, now should we keep spying on them, or go wait for them," Alfred looked at Arthur.

"Well, I say we wait until they get off, and see what happens, if they seem to be ok, and if neither of them tries to kill the other, then we'll keep spying," Arthur answered, "other than that, there isn't a whole lot we can do but wait."

"While we're waiting, wanna go get something to eat?"

Arthur paused, "sure, why not."

"Sweet, hey Francis, want to come?"

"No thanks Al, I'll stay here. Someone has to make sure they don't wonder off," he said bitterly.

"Well, ok then, if you're sure," Alfred noticing his tone of voice.

"Yeah, I'm sure, go on. Just don't get anything that will make you sick again."

Alfred laughed, "Ok, I won't."

And they left, leaving Francis to himself with his thoughts. "This is why I never wanted to see Artie again, because I knew that I still wouldn't be over him," he said to himself, "and now it seems like I won't have a chance to get back together with him." He let his mind wander into the past.

_Exactly a week after Arthur arrived to Hetalia High, Francis had tried to make a move on him no more than 3 times daily. _

"Wow, he really didn't wait long," _Gilbert laughed with Antonio as they watched Francis try to convince Arthur that they were meant to be together for the second time in three days._

"He really didn't, I guess I owe you this," _Antonio handed over $5._

"I appreciate your business," _Gilbert joked as he pocketed the money as they continued watching Francis's pathetic attempt of wooing Arthur. _"Ahh, what would we do without our poor love sick puppy?"

"Honestly I have no clue, like what would we bet on? It would be so weird without him," _Antonio wondered._

"Oh look over there, isn't that the one particular Italian that you yourself are swooning over?" _Gilbert nodded toward where he spotted Lovino yelling at his twin brother._

"Oh, shut up, I'm not swooning over anyone," _Antonio denied, while his face told a different story, it was as red as a tomato, _"but no one can say differently that he is adorable when he's mad."

"I think that you are the only one who thinks that," _Gilbert said._

"Oh, there's no way that I'm the only one who thinks that, he's just too cute to not think that!" _Antonio argued._

"Right, you keep thinking that Antonio, but you might want to keep that to yourself, if Lovino ever found out that you think that, you just might end up with a broken nose or something," _Gil said._

"Mmmm, right," _he said dazed. Francis headed back toward the two._

"That's it! That stubborn, stuck up, old cow! I give up on him! I will never be able to convince him of our love! He _can_ go rot in hell for all I care now, he is just way too much work!" _Francis was very distraught. _

"'If love is a labour I'll slave until the end' isn't that what you said to him yesterday" _Gilbert teased._

"That was from a song, I was trying to be charming and poetic! But he is impossible! I can't do this." _Antonio and Gilbert looked at each other and burst out laughing, _"What's so funny?" _Francis demanded._

"It's just, you say that every time!"_ Gilbert explained while laughing his head off._

"I do not!"

"Yes you do!" _Antonio insisted._

"Oh my god! You two are so impossible," _Francis threw up his hands, almost hitting someone._

* * *

Matthew had his eyes squeezed shut, his heart was racing, and he was hyperventilating. 'Shipwrecked' was slowly coming to a stop.

"Please tell me it's over," Matthew refused to open his eyes.

"Yeah, it's over, I'm sorry Birdie, I didn't know you didn't want to go, you should have told me, I wouldn't have made you go."

"It's ok, I'll be fine just get me off of here."

"Ok, but you are going to have to let go of the bar thing, just saying."

"Oh, right," he reluctantly released his grip on it, stretching his hands, realizing how tightly he must have been holding onto it because they were stiff.

"You can open your eyes now," Gilbert said, as he tugged on the metal harness thing, releasing Matthew.

"You must think I'm pathetic," Matthew said miserably.

"Of course not! We all have our own fears, and loads of people don't like roller coasters. I actually think that you were quite brave; you faced your fears just for the benefit of me having a little fun. Not everybody would be able to do that," Gilbert smiled at Matthew.

"You really think so?"

"Yes, I do, now do you want to go get something to eat?"

Matthew smiled back at him, "I'd like that.

* * *

"So, what do you want to eat?" Alfred asked.

"I don't know really if I want anything, I kind of just wanted to get away from Francis, really."

"Oh, it must be kind of awkward being around him," Alfred said.

"A bit, but I think that he feels more awkward, he always was very emotional about that kind of thing."

"Really? He never seems to act like this around any of his other ex's."

"Hm, that's kind of weird," Arthur sounded a little confused, "oh well, he'll get over it, stupid frog."

"Why do you call him that?" Alfred asked.

"Stupid or Frog?" Arthur smiled.

"Frog."

"I don't even know really, it just sort of happened, I guess when I first met him he kind of reminded me of a frog because I really hated frogs for some reason," Arthur laughed.

"Ok then, that's a little bit weird."

"I guess." They kept walking for a little while and then saw a stand for mini doughnuts.

"Hey, want to split some mini doughnuts?" Alfred asked.

"I don't see why not." And they got in line, not seeing that Matthew and Gilbert were heading in their direction, followed by Francis.

* * *

"Oh my god, mini doughnuts! They are the best!" Matthew said pointing at a stand.

"I know right! They are so good," Gilbert paused, "hey, is that Alfred over there?"

Matthew looked, and indeed saw his brother with a blond in punkish clothes, "Yeah, but who's that with him?"

Gilbert squinted, "Mein gott, it's Arthur!" Gilbert looked at Matthew seeing the confused look on his face, "One of Francis's ex boyfriends."

"Oh! I think I remember him saying something about someone named Arthur and how he didn't think that he would ever get over him," Matthew remembered.

"Really? It always seemed like he hated Arthur after they broke up, but then again, you can hate someone because they love them."

"If you don't mind me saying this but you sound like you have experience with this," Matthew looked at his feet.

"It's ok, but yeah, for a while I thought that I still loved my ex girlfriend, but then I realized once she got over me and started dating this other guy, that she was right, I didn't love her as a girlfriend, I loved her more as a little sister or something."

"What's her name?"

"Elizabeta, if you ever meet her, get on her good side as soon as possible, otherwise you might get a face full of frying pan," he looked at Matthew's questioning expression, "Seriously, it's not pleasant, trust me, it happened to me on more than one occasion," He laughed, "I don't think my nose was ever the same after that."

"You have got to be kidding me, like, you can not be serious. Who hits people with a frying pan?"

"You two wouldn't be talking about Elizabeta would you?" Francis appeared it seemed almost out of thin air.

"Yup, I was just telling Mattie that if he ever meets her to get on her good side ASAP."

"Yeah, you really should, she can really be vicious, and you can't imagine how much a frying pan to the face hurts."

"Oh my god, you _were _serious!" Matthew couldn't believe this.

"Would I really joke about getting hit in the head with a frying pan?"

"Well you kind of were laughing about it."

"Just looking fondly into the past," Gilbert joked, "anyway, when did the idiot meet the smart ass?" He asked as nodding towards the two blonds.

"Oh, um, a little bit after we lost you guys I guess," Francis laughed.

"Mmm, I see. Wait here," Gilbert said pressing his finger to his lips. Matthew looked at him questionably, "trust me." He smiled.

Matthew watched as he saw Gilbert slowly sneak up behind Alfred and Arthur, them being oblivious because they were deep in conversation, and once he reached them, he pushed them both sideways onto the ground on top of one another and he burst out laughing.

"GILBERT, YOU ASS!" Arthur yelled as he got up off of Alfred, both of them looking a little pink in the face, "YOU ARE SUCH A BLOODY WANKER! IN WHAT STATE OF MIND MAKES YOU THINK THAT PUSHING TWO PEOPLE OVER ON TOP OF EACH OTHER IS IN ANY WAY OK?" Alfred was still on the ground but he too had joined in with everybody laughing, Matthew and Francis walked over while holding their stomachs laughing. Arthur still looked both furious and embarrassed.

"Aw, Arthur can't you take a joke? It was all just for laughs," Alfred said getting up off of the ground, dusting himself off and saw Arthur glaring at both him and Gilbert, "Hey what did I do?"

"How are you ok with this?"

"Because you're making such a big deal of it to make up for both of us," Alfred smiled.

"Oh, you really are a git."

"Yeah, well, you're an ass wipe," he stuck out his tongue.

"Well, you're a twat."

"You have freakish eyebrows."

"You-"

"Oh my god, they're like an old couple," Matthew said while they kept bickering.

"I _know!_" Gilbert said in disbelief, "come on, let's go find another place where we can get mini doughnuts or something, I have a feeling that this could go on forever."

"I think that it really could, ok let's go," Matthew agreed.


	3. The arrangement

Matthew flopped down on his bed exhausted from the day.

'_What the hell was I thinking? I can't get too close to him; I'm being selfish, I haven't even told Alfred,' _Matthew was lost in his thoughts, as he headed to the washroom to brush his teeth. As soon as Gilbert left with Francis and Antonio, Matthew couldn't stop thinking about him.

'_God, why does he have to be so perfect? I think I just might love him, hell I don't even know if he's interested in guys! He's probably not since he had a girlfriend.' _He wondered as he looked at the ten digits scrawled on his hand in Gilbert's handwriting '780-998-9424' he still couldn't believe how well they had gotten along, _'I don't know if I've ever met someone like him before, but now I wish I hadn't.'_

* * *

"Hey Liz?" Gilbert really didn't know what to do, he didn't know what to do, he was very confused about how he felt about Matthew, so he called the only person he knew that knew how to deal with these situations, his old girlfriend, Elizabeta.

"_What the hell do you want Gilbert?"_

Ahhh, good old Liz, she unlike so many other girls knew how to get straight to the point, "Um, Liz, I need your opinion on something, when you said that you knew that I didn't really love you, how did you know?"

"_OH MY GOD GILBERT, YOU ARE CALLING ME AT 11 TO ASK ME THAT?"_

"Yes?"

"_THIS REALLY COULDN'T WAIT? YOU REALLY KNOW HOW TO MAKE A GIRL REALLY ANGERY DON'T YOU? THE NEXT TIME I SEE YOU, YOU ARE SO GETTING A FACE FULL OF MY SKILLET."_

"Sorry but this is really important!"

"_I bet it could have waited until morning," _Elizabeta said over the receiver.

"So can you answer me?"

"_Oh god, it's really taken you this long to figure it out?"_

"Figure _what _out?"

"_You are totally gay you idiot!"_

"I am not!"

"_Let me guess, you met a guy and you are really confused about how you feel about him because he's really nice and you have totally fell for him, am I right?"_

"Uh... I think so..."

"_Oh I totally knew this was coming! I had my suspicions before we dated and totally figured it out, it was only a matter of time before you would come to me! HAHAHA!"_

"Oh shut up! Anyway, can you help me? I don't know if he's really all that into me," Gilbert couldn't believe the words coming out of his mouth; _he _was _asking Elizabeta _for _relationship help?_

"_OH GOD THIS IS PRICELESS!"_

"Must you shove this in my face?"

"_Ok, I'll help you out," Elizabeta said half laughing._

"Thanks a lot Liz."

"_No problem Gil, so when do I get to meet the lucky guy?" Elizabeta asked sounding excited. 'Oh shit I should have excepted this of course she wants to meet him, oh god-'_

"_Gil? Helllllooooo?"_

"Um I don't know, I need to talk to him or something," he sputtered.

"_Oh, I see you're afraid I'll scare him away, don't worry about me, you have his phone number right?"_

"Uh, yeah."

"_Ok, well call him when you get up tomorrow, and say you'd like to go out for coffee or something."_

"But Liz! I only met him today!" Gilbert complained.

"_Even better! If you wait too long he'll think that you're not interested."_

"I don't even know if he likes guys though."

"_That's why I will mysteriously show up and you can go away and we'll have a chat, me and- what's his name again?"_

"Matthew Williams," Gilbert answered.

"_Ah, yes, Matthew and I will have a nice long chat all about you."_

"Oh god, well I guess I'll call you after I find out what Mattie is doing tomorrow," Gilbert sighed.

"_Good, now I have to get some sleep if I'm going to have to do some matchmaking tomorrow, see ya!" _And the phone clicked.

"What have I gotten myself into?" Gilbert said to himself shaking his head while setting his alarm for 10:00 AM.

* * *

_Ring, ring, ring._

Matthew woke up to the sound of his phone, _'who the hell is calling me," _he thought as he looked at his clock, _'and at 10:27? Really?"_

"Hello?" Matthew said sounding very grouchy.

"_Hey Mattie? It's me Gilbert, are you busy today?"_

"Um, no, why?"

"_Well, I was wondering if you'd like to go out for coffee or something? How does that sound?"_

Matthew's heart leaped, as he sat up, "That sounds great, where do you want to go?"

"Um I don't know- hold on a sec, I just got a text."

"Ok."

* * *

Gilbert looked at who it was from, _Elizabeta, _his phone read.

_Don't forget to offer to pick him up_

_~Liz_

"Ok Mattie, I'm back, do you know where you want to go?"

"_Um, not really, you can decide."_

"Well, ok, do you want me to pick you up?"

"_If it's not too much trouble, sure," _Matthew sounded a little distressed.

"Awesome! When do you want me to pick you up?"

"_Uh, does 11 sound good?"_

"Sounds awesome, I guess I need your address then," Gilbert realized.

"_Oh, right, um, N1174, 100__th__ avenue."_

"Sweet, see you at 11, bye Birdie."

"_Bye Gil."_

_Click._

"Mein gott! This is hella lot more stressful than I thought it would be." He said as he dialed Elizabeta's number into his phone.

"_Well?" _she asked expectantly.

"I'm picking him up at 11."

"_Oh good! So do you know where you're going?"_

"No clue."

"_Well there is a really cute cafe at the corner of State Street."_

"Oh, hell no, that is way to frilly and shit, it's for it's for couples who are all lovey dovey and crap."

"_Fine! Well, there is that one coffee shop where we went for our first date."_

"Ok, well that place isn't half bad, it's nice there, I guess that's where we're going then, just do _not _mention to him that it's where we had our first date, that would totally suck, please?"

"_God, Gilbert I don't hate you _that _much! Ok, see you there."_

"Ok, bye."

_Click._


	4. The Maple Leaf

_Ding_

'_Crap he's here' _Matthew thought as looked at his clock, _'10:40? He's early! That little shit,' _he rushed down the stairs.

"Oh, who's that Mattie?" Alfred asked as he came into the room.

"Um, it's Gilbert. He invited me to go for coffee or something," Matthew looked down at his feet feeling a little embarrassed.

"I see, well don't keep him waiting," he said with a smirk.

"Shut up, my god, it's not like it's a date or something," Matthew said as he went to open the door, "Hi Gilbert."

"Hey Birdie, are you ready to go?"

"Almost, I just need to get my wallet, I'll be right back," Matthew said inviting Gilbert in, and dashing back up the stairs.

"Birdie! There's no need for that, I was intending on paying!" Gilbert called up the stairs to him.

"Don't be silly!" Matthew said distantly.

"Why don't you take a seat Gilbert?" Alfred suggested as he pulled out a chair at the kitchen table, Gilbert hesitated and looked at Alfred and saw that he was completely serious, sat down.

"Um, Al?"

"Cut the crap Gilbert and tell me, do you actually like him? And don't lie to me, because I will kick your ass if you lead him on and you don't actually like him, that is my baby brother, and I don't want anything to hurt him."

Gilbert was shocked, he defiantly was _not_ expecting the whole 'you had better not hurt my little delicate flower' speech from Alfred, especially since it was about Matthew, _a guy_. Gilbert had heard a speech like that from Elizabeta's dad, and it was utterly terrifying.

"To be honest I don't know, I've never felt the way I do about him before. I have never really had any interest in guys before, so I can't tell you if I really do or not. I've only ever been in one relationship, and she basically only dated me to find out if I was gay or not."

"That's not the only reason why she went out with you, she really did love you when it started and she did have her doubts about you. Over time she realized that her suspicions were correct, that's why she ended it," Alfred said abruptly

"How would you know?"

"We're good friends; you just didn't notice me while you were with her."

"Oh... well I knew that you were there, I just didn't know that you two were that close," Gilbert sounded like he was slightly disappointed in himself.

"Anyway, You better figure it out fast, or you will have me to deal with if you get too involved and you realise that your feeling aren't what you thought they were," and with that he left the room, leaving a Gilbert a little shaken.

He sat there for a few moments, contemplating what Alfred had said, and Matthew came back down the stairs.

"Ok, let's go," he said as he opened the door to leave, he looked back at Gilbert, "You ok?"

Gilbert only just realized that Matthew was there, "Oh! Do you have everything that you need?"

"Yup."

"Ok, let's go."

* * *

"So, where are we going?" Matthew asked as he looked out the window.

"Just a little place I found a few years ago, it's an independent coffee and book store," Gilbert answered.

"Oh yeah? I love places like that; they are always a good place just to relax."

"Yeah," Gilbert paused, "So, what kind of music do you like?"

"Um, well, I like pretty much anything, except country for the most part, I mean the occasional song is ok, but it's just not my cup of tea."

"Hmm, so what's your favourite band?"

"Well, I would have to say 'Marianas Trench' I really like them."

"I've never heard of them, what kind of music do they do?" Gilbert glanced over at Matthew.

"Mostly punkish pop type stuff, I guess if I had to label it."

"Oh, seems like something I might like," He said distractedly, "We're almost there, it's only a few blocks from here."

Matthew nodded in acknowledgement.

"Ok, we're here," Gilbert said awkwardly as he pulled into a parking spot.

They got out of the car and Matthew saw a little building at the street corner, "'The Maple Leaf,' eh?"

"That's the one," he smiled and they got out of the car, "After you," he said as he opened the door for Matthew.

"Thanks," he said as he glanced around the room. It wasn't very brightly lit like most cafe's are, but it wasn't dim either; it was a happy neutral. The building seemed like it was really old, but in very good condition.

"No problem," Gilbert himself was also looking around, but he was looking for someone in particular; Elizabeta, but he couldn't see her anywhere, _'where on earth is that girl? She said that she'd be here!'_

"So, why don't you go find a seat and I'll order, what do you want?" Matthew offered.

"Um," Gilbert looked at the menu, "I'll have a caramel macchiato, wait a second, I was going to pay!" He jokingly glared at Matthew, "Why don't _you _go find a seat, hmm? Tell me what you want Birdie."

"Foiled again, I was just trying to be nice!" Matthew looked at the smug look on Gilbert's face, and poked him in the side, which made him jump and make a sort of squeal noise, "Oh yeah, well I'll have a white mocha," and walked off.

'_And Liz wonders why I'm so confused about him,' _Gilbert thought to himself as he moved up in the line.

"May I take your order miss?" The person at the till asked the girl in front of Gilbert.

"I'll have a chai latte, please."

"What size?"

"Oh, just a small thanks."

'_Why does that voice sound so familiar? Who do I know that would order a chai latte anyway? Wait, isn't that what Liz usually drinks?'_

"Liz?" Gilbert asked uncertainly.

"Took you long enough, dumbass," she turned around.

"Well, you don't usually wear your hair up in a hat do you?"

"I wouldn't have had to if it wasn't because of you calling me at a stupid time in the morning asking for relationship advice, which made me sleep late, so I didn't have enough time to get ready!"

"I already apologised about that!"

"Excuse me miss, you're holding up the line, your drink will be ready over at the other counter."

'_Bad move mister,' _Gilbert smirked.

"DO I LOOK SINGLE TO YOU MISTER? I LET IT PASS THE FIRST TIME, BUT YOU SAY THAT, _AND_ YOU'RE TELLING ME TO MOVE ON OVER TO THE COUNTER, WHEN I STILL HAVE TO PAY? DO YOU WANT A REASON TO BE FIRED? LITTLE DID YOU KNOW, YOU HAVE JUST PISSED OFF YOUR BOSS," she pulled out a frying man, and held it threateningly at the man.

"I'm sorry miss, I mean, ma'am. I didn't realise who you were."

"OH, SO IF I WAS ANYONE ELSE, YOU WOULDN'T CARE? YOU MUST WANT TO GIVE ME A REASON TO FIRE YOUR ASS."

"No ma'am!"

"Liz, just leave it. He was doing his job, you _were_ holding up the line," Gilbert said, and ducked just in time to miss being hit directly in the head with her frying pan.

"Your reflexes have improved," she said plainly.

"I was just prepared, since I knew that comment would probably earn a swing with the frying pan."

"Hm, I see," and with that, she left a five dollar bill to pay for her drink, and left for the counter.

"Sorry about her, it kind of was my fault. Anyway, I'll have a regular white mocha, and a regular caramel macchiato."

"Ok, your total will be $8.37, will that be all?"

Gilbert looked at what they had for baked goods, "mmh, I'll also have two muffins, a chocolate echip and lemon poppy seed thank you."

"That brings it to $14.82, for here or to go?"

"For here thanks, oh, and Liz will also want that for here, just saying," Gilbert warned.

"My god, thanks for that."

"No problem," he gave him the money and went over to where Elizabeta was waiting.

"So since when have you owned this place?"

"Only about four months."

"Hmm, you know, you could be a little nicer to your employees."

"And why should I do that?"

"Because, it's just what should be done, if you treat all of your workers like that, then no one will want to work here."

"I doubt that, I pay them very well, and I was just toughening him up, he needs to be more considerate to the costumers, and making sure that they pay! That was just ridicules, telling me to go wait while I hadn't payed!"

"I'm just not going to say anything more on the subject."

"Fine, we have more important subjects to discuss anyway, your new boyfriend," she eyed him.

"He's _not_ my boyfriend!" He said in a hushed voice.

"Well, not yet anyway."

"Your chai latte ma'am, I apologise for the misunderstanding, have a great day," the man who was at the front counter said quickly, "Your muffins and drinks will be here soon sir."

"Thanks."

"You let him call you 'sir,' you hate it when people do that."

"Well, I figured that he's already had a lot to deal with today, maybe like a very angry woman with a frying pan threatening to either fire him or beat him to a pulp."

"Oh, ha ha, that's very funny."

"I only speak the truth."

"Just shut it,"

He stuck out his tongue at her.

"One white mocha, one caramel macchiato, two muffins, enjoy your day."

"Thanks, hey Liz, wanna help me carry these?"

She glared at him, "Fine." And took one of the drinks, Gilbert took the other drink and the plate with the two muffins. He looked around the cafe for Matthew, and finally spotted him in the corner booth, with a newspaper, doing one of the puzzles.

"Ah, right there! Gilbert nodded in Matthew's direction for Elizabeta to see.

"Ohh, he is so adorable!"

They walked over to him, "Hey Birdie, this is Liz, she's the girls I was telling you about yesterday."

"Oh, hello, it's nice to meet you."

"It's a pleasure to meet you too Matthew, so Gilbert has been talking about me huh?"

"It was all nice, I promise."

"Well, I did warn him about your frying pan history," Gilbert admitted.

"Oh, I see," she did not sound very pleased.

"So, whatcha doing Mattie?"

"Just a Sudoku," Matthew scribbled something down in one of the boxes.

"I see, I never had any patience for those kinds of things," Gilbert admitted.

"It's not for everybody I suppose," he said as he put it away.

"I'll be right back, just going to the washroom," Gilbert said after a while.

"Ok," Matthew said looking at Gilbert.

After he was gone Elizabeta took the opportunity to talk to Matthew, "so, I'm just going to be very plain and straight forward, can I ask you a question without you getting offended?"

"Um, I suppose."

"Are you gay?"

"Uhh, well, umm-" He stuttered.

"I knew it! Ha! Oh this is wonderful!" She squealed.

"Um, what do you mean?"

"You and Gil are totally perfect for each other!"

"What?"

"You are so blind Mattie, if you don't already know that you're gay, and that Gil is totally into you, you are one of the blindest people ever."

"Uh- b-but, that isn't possible!"

"What makes it impossible?"

"Gil isn't gay! Is he?" Matthew asked uncertainly.

"Am I the only person in the world who can tell? My god! Yes he's gay, though he didn't know it himself until recently."

"You know this for sure? I was pretty sure that he was straight."

"I am very sure, I mean, I've only known you for ten, fifteen minutes and I figured it out that you're gay didn't I?"

"I never said that," he said blushing.

She only raised an eyebrow in response.

"Fine! I admit it, I'm gay."

"That's more like it. You should always accept yourself for who you are because you can't change that."

"I guess," he sipped his mocha, "but what I don't understand is how do you know that Gil likes me?"

"He doesn't just like you, he adores you! I guess I can tell because I've known him for so long, and well, I'm really good at matchmaking I guess."

"So, if you don't mind me asking, did you know that Gil was gay when you dated him?"

"I had my suspicions, I just didn't want it them to be true, but after a while, I just couldn't take it anymore, I knew that he only loved me like a little sister, he just didn't really know that. But I could tell, he treated me like a sibling, for the most part anyway. So I told him that he didn't really love me, and it was only a matter of time that he would figure out why."

"Why do that in the first place though? Knowing in the back of your mind that it wouldn't last?" Matthew asked sounding concerned, "I mean, it must have been so hard for you."

"Because I loved him, and I thought that I could have been wrong about him, that he really would love me in return. It took me three years to pluck up the courage to ask him out, and we only lasted about six months."

"Wow, that must have taken a lot of guts to do that. I know I wouldn't have been able to do it."

"Have you ever been in a relationship before?"

"Um, well to be completely honest-"

"Hey guys, sorry I was gone so long, the line was _extremely _long, it's ridiculous. So what are we talking about?"

"Um, nothing much, just this and that," Elizabeta said quickly.

"Oh I see, so you were talking about me weren't you?"

"You are _so_ self centred!"

"Only when I know it's true," he laughed.

Elizabeta looked at her watch, "Oh, it looks like I have to go, running late, Mattie, call me, m'kay?"

"But I don't have your number!"

"Right! She pulled out a pen from her purse, Matthew offered his hand, and she scribbled down her number, "Oh yeah, still have Gil's number on here I see, toodles," and left leaving Matthew blushing and Gilbert looking a little annoyed.

"So, how's the mocha?"

"It's really good, I like it here, though it does seem really familiar, I just can't place my finger on it."

"So you've been here before?" Gilbert sounded a little disappointed.

"I think so, maybe a long time ago," Matthew thought for a few moments, "Ha! I got it, When I first moved here, we stopped here!"

"Oh, so you moved here? From where?"

"Well, originally from here, but my parents got divorced, so my Papa took me to live up in Canada, and about five years ago, he died so I had to move back here to live with my mum."

"That's complicated, I'm sorry about your dad though."

"It's ok, he was a jerk anyway. He was a wine critique, so one think thing led to another and he became a mad drunk, and one night he drank himself to death.

"That's awful! Was living with your mom any better?"

"Not particularly, she didn't really like me too much. Apparently I was too much like my father. Alfred was defiantly the favourite in her eyes."

"Wow that totally sucks. My brother is defiantly the favourite in our grandpa's opinion. Both our mom and dad died when we were young, so we've lived with him for most of our lives."

"If you don't mind me asking, how did they die?"

"They were killed in a fire, me and Ludwig were staying at our grandpa's for some reason, and they had a fire pace in the living room, and they fell asleep while it was going. Nobody quite knows how it started, maybe a log fell off and onto the floor and it just escalated from there and by the time they woke up, they couldn't get out."

"I'm so sorry, that's really horrible," Matthew bowed his head so Gilbert couldn't see that his eyes were getting a little misty.

They sat there for hours just talking and before too long they had to be booted out because it was closing time. So Gilbert drove back to Matthew's house.

"Thanks a lot Gil, I really enjoyed today," Matthew smiled at him.

"No problem I really liked being with you. So you're sure that your brother isn't going to kill me because I brought you home late, it is 11:37 you know."

Matthew laughed, "I'm sure, and even if he wants to, it's none of his business who I'm with and what time I get home."

"He's very protective over you, if you haven't noticed. He loves you a lot," Gilbert looked at Matthew to see a look of surprise and shock settle over his face, "What, it's true!"

"You think so?"

"Oh yes, I know it, when you went upstairs, he gave me the whole 'you hurt my baby brother and you die' speech. He cares a lot about you and wants to see you happy."

"Really?"

"Yes, he really does."

"Hm, well I'd better be off, thanks Gil, thanks for everything," Matthew quickly leaned over and gave him a little kiss on the cheek, "Bye," and sort of half ran half walked back to the house leaving Gilbert in a shocked daze. He stared at Matthew until he got into his house, _'yup, I've defiantly fallen, and I've fallen hard.'_

* * *

Matthew closed the door behind him, and sighed, _'why the hell did I do that?'_

"So, how was the date?" Alfred was sitting in a chair in the living room, obviously waiting for Matthew to get home.

"It was _not_ a date!" Matthew exclaimed.

"Oh really? You've been out for more than twelve hours, almost thirteen, sure seems like more than just friends going out for coffee. And you only met him yesterday."

"We really were just at the coffee shop all that time. Is it a problem that we were talking for half a day?"

"Of course not! I want you to be happy; I want you to go out more often. To be completely honest I think that you and Gilbert would be great for each other, and I know that recently you haven't been going anywhere, doing anything! I just don't want you to get hurt because you got into a relationship too fast. I want you to be happy because you're my baby brother and you haven't had the best life. I know that I haven't always been there for you, and it might have seemed like I didn't care about you, but I do, and I always have," Alfred pulled him into a hug with tears in his eyes, and Matthew smelt alcohol on him, and noticed that he was slurring his speech a little, "I've been a horrible brother to you, and I wish that I could take it all back. I should have stood up for you when ever mom was in one of her fits. I've always prided myself for being a hero, but I wasn't because I didn't protect what was most important. I didn't protect you."

Matthew hugged Alfred back, and started to cry into his shoulder, like a little kid, "Oh Al, don't beat yourself up, it's ok."

"But it _isn't _ok! You've always said it was ok! But it never was, I should have been there for you, I should have been your big brother that took care of you, I should have been there for you all of those times. I should have been there."

"Al, how much have you drank tonight?" Matthew pulled away from his brother.

"I haven't," he lied.

"Shut up, yes you have, I can tell, you smell like alcohol, I lived with papa remember? I know what it's like."

"I've only had a couple of glasses," he admitted after a few moments.

"Of what?"

"The vodka that Ivan gave me for my birthday."

"God, Al! You are going to have such a hangover tomorrow, just go to bed," Matthew shook his head at him, "You can't do that to yourself, Al. You can't do that," Matthew mumbled to himself.

* * *

"Gilbert!"

'_Oh shit,'_ Gilbert thought as he came into the house.

"Where the hell have you been?" Ludwig sounded worried.

"Out," Gilbert answered plainly.

"I can see that, but where and with who?"

"I was at the Maple leaf, with my friend Mattie."

"For almost thirteen hours? You left at ten thirty this morning!"

"So? I was having a good time, what's it you?" Gilbert snapped.

"I didn't know where you were and I was worried. I called Francis and Antonio, when I found out that you weren't with them I was concerned."

"Hey, aren't I supposed to be the older brother in this relationship? I thought that it was me who was supposed to get worried over my little bro," Gilbert joked.

"I guess, just tell me when you're going to be gone all day next time," Ludwig laughed, "so, who's this _Mattie_, you're talking about?"

"Uh, he's just a friend," Gilbert said quickly.

"Oh yeah? Sounds like more than just a friend."

"Shuddup, Ludwig," he said embarrassedly.

"Oh, I'm so not giving up this opportunity; you tortured me for weeks about Feliciano when you found out about him."

"Well, that's totally different!"

"How?"

"Because that was you, and this is me, that's how!"

Ludwig laughed, "So, what's his name?"

"Matthew Williams," Gilbert mumbled.

"So when will I be meeting this, _Matthew Williams_? Hmm?"

"I don't know! Anyway, I need to go to bed, I'm tired," Gilbert said as he started to walk towards the stairs.

"Hey Gil?"

"Yeah, Ludwig?"

"You better treat this boy right, you know that right?"

"Why does everybody think that I'm going to hurt him? I'm not that kind of person, why doesn't anyone understand that? Of course I'm going to treat him nice! I'm not going to hurt him!" He stomped down the stairs in frustration.

"I hope you're right Gil, I hope you're right."

* * *

"Hey Liz?" Matthew called her as soon as he was sure that Alfred was asleep.

"_Hello Mattie, how was the rest of the date?"_

"It wasn't a date!"

"_Riiight~ Ok, so how was the rest of whatever that was? I didn't miss too much did I? When did he get you home?"_

"Uh, about 11:40 ish."

"_Wow! So did anything interesting happen?"_

"Well, umm," he mumbled

"_Matthew? What did you do?" _she sounded sort of concerned and excited.

"I um, well-"

"_Come on, spit it out."_

"I- I did kind of kiss him," he said very quickly.

"_WHAT? I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" _she shouted.

"Calm down! It was only on the cheek!"

"_But still! Ah~ I can't even- What did he say, what did he do?"_

"Um, I don't know, I sort of left as soon as I did it..."

"_Oh my god, I can't even- wait a second, I'll call you back."_

"Wait!" But she had already hung up, "No!" he groaned.

* * *

"_GILBERT!"_

"Liz! Oh my god, I don't know what to do, Matthew-"

"_Yes , yes I know what happened."_

"He- wait, you do?"

"_Of course! Mattie called me just now, ahh poor thing."_

"Poor thing? What?"

"_Aww, he's so cute, he was so distressed, he didn't know what to do, poor baby."_

"Well, what did you tell him? I'm just as distressed and confused as he is! If not more."

"_Oh, I didn't tell him anything, not yet, I'm going to call him back, I just needed to talk to you."_

"What! You just hung up on him? LIZ!"

"_What? I needed to find out the rest of the story!"_

"What else is there to know? He just pecked me on the cheek and ran off!"

"_But how did you react?"_

"Does it really matter Liz?" Gilbert sighed.

"_YES IT DOES!"_ she screeched.

"Well, I realized that I love him, now go call him back! Mein Gott, be more considerate Liz, he's probably frantic and worried!" He hung up on her before she could say anything else.

* * *

"_Sorry Mattie, I just had to deal with something."_

"It's ok, things happen."

"_So, when are you going to see him next?"_

"I don't know how to face him, after what I did," Matthew flopped onto his bed and sighed.

"_My god Matthew! Pull yourself together!"_

"No, I want to flail about in my own self pity and misery and drown in embarrassment."

"_You are so pathetic, you know that right?"_

"I've only acknowledged it every day of my life."

"_Ooook Mr. Sarcastic font, you'd better get some sleep, and call me in the morning when you aren't being a sulky little shit head, m'kay?"_

"Fine."

"_Fine to you too, talk to you in the morning, bye."_

"Bye, Liz."

_Click._


	5. The call

"I told you so," Matthew said to his brother who was on the washroom floor throwing up. He spat into the toilet.

"Shuddup."

"Well, that's what happens when you drink half of a bottle of vodka in one night. How much of last night do you even remember?"

"Most of it after you came home."

"Oh," Matthew thought, _'I had really hoped that you wouldn't,' _"Well, let me get you some water for you."

"Thanks bro."

"No problem."

* * *

"_Mattie?"_

"Nope, sorry do disappoint, but it is the awesome me," Gilbert had called Elizabeta to see what was up with Mattie.

"_Oh."_

"No need to sound so excited, gosh," he said sarcastically, "so what happened when you called Mattie?"

"_Your boyfriend was being such a smartass, and we never got around to talking much. Which reminds me, he promised he would call me when he got up, so talk to ya later Gil." _With that, she hung up.

"He's _not_ my boyfriend! Whatever, I'll never be able to convince her otherwise."

He sat down on his bed and just relaxed for a while. After a few minutes he grabbed his phone and dialed Matthew's number, which he had accidentally memorised.

_Ring, ring, ring-_

"_Hello? Matthew Williams speaking."_

"Mein Gott you're cute when you're being formal," Gilbert laughed.

"_Ahg! Gil! I didn't realise it was you, so, um-"_

Gilbert laughed, "don't worry birdie, it's ok."

Matthew waited a few moments, _"So I'm not cute when I'm not being formal, eh?"_ He joked.

"I mean- I just- I meant that you were even cuter when you're trying to be formal," Gilbert laughed.

"_So, what were you calling for?"_

"Well, I was wondering, if you wanted to do something today, maybe?"

"_I would love to but I can't, Al has a massive hangover, I'm making sure he doesn't throw up to death or something."_

"Aww Birdie, you're such a good brother."

"_Thanks Gil, I have to go though, talk to you later?"_

"Of course, Birdie."

"_Ok, thanks, oh wait, can you call Liz and tell her I'll call her sometime tonight because of Al?"_

"Yup, I can do that, talk to you later."

"_Bye Gil."_

"Bye, Birdie."

* * *

'_Hold up, was I just _flirting _with him? I can't keep doing this... It's not fair to him,'_ Matthew thought to himself as he hung up and went to get Alfred a glass of water.

"Here you go Al," Matthew handed the glass to him.

"Thanks," he took a gulp, "So, I'm guessing that you were just talking to Gilbert?"

"Uh, yes?"

"Can you call him up again?"

"For what?" Matthew asked sounding worried.

"I have something to ask him," Alfred looked at his brother.

"What? I can ask him the next time I talk to him, he's just calling someone for me."

"Oh yeah, who?"

"I don't know if you know her, but Elizabeta?"

"Oh yes, Liz. I know who she is; I'm guessing you met her yesterday then?"

"Well, yeah, I did."

'_Who doesn't he know? Oh my god,' _he thought.

* * *

"Yo, Lizzaaay," Gilbert laughed.

"_Oh my GOD Gilbert! Leave me alone! Didn't I tell you I was expecting a call?" _Elizabeta said agitatedly.

"Don't worry; I come with a message of peace."

"_Really?"_ she sounded unimpressed.

"Yes, Mattie said that he can't call you right now, but he'll call later tonight."

"_Why? What happened?"_

"He's just taking care of Alfred today. He has a massive hangover apparently," Gilbert said.

"_Oh, well that's boring, tell Al that I say hi next time you talk to him."_

"Sure Liz, I can do that."

"_Well, I have no other reason to talk to you so Ciao!"_

_Click._

He threw his phone onto his bed and laid down, a couple seconds later his phone buzzed, _'Huh?' _Gilbert looked at the screen.

_Hey, can you talk right now?_

_~Mattie_

'_This doesn't look good, I wonder what happened,' _Gilbert thought.

_Sure, what happened? _He texted back.

* * *

"Looks like he's done with talking to Liz," Matthew dialed Gilbert's number and handed the phone to Alfred, "There you go I guess," he said.

"Thanks Matt, but not to be rude or anything, I would like to talk to him alone," he looked at his brother.

"Um, ok then," he said and left the room.

"_Birdie? What's wrong? Did something happen?"_ Gilbert said with worry.

"This isn't Matthew, Gilbert."

"_Um, hey Alfred, Liz said to say hi."_

"Have you figured it out? Because I am pretty sure that Matthew has."

"_I have, and I am fairly certain that Mattie and I agree on this."_

"You do, do you?

"_Yes."_

"You better know what you're doing Gilbert. Because if I find out that you have hurt him, or anything else like that, I will kick your ass. And if you do anything worse, I will kill you, don't make me do that," he finished and hung up.


	6. Memories

Matthew sat close to the bathroom door, not believing what he was hearing.

"_You better know what you're doing Gilbert. Because if I find out that you have hurt him, or anything else like that, I will kick your ass. And if you do anything worse, I will kill you, don't make me do that."_

'_I don't know which part of this I don't believe more, the fact that he basically threatened to kill Gilbert, or that it was for me,' _Matthew thought as he walked back to the kitchen, making sure that he wouldn't be caught listening in.

"Hey Mattie, I think I'm going to bed, hopefully I can sleep off this headache," Alfred said as he headed toward the room he was staying in.

"Ok Al, do you want anything to eat before? Maybe soup or something?" Matthew asked trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"Sure, thanks Matt."

"No problem, now you get to bed, I'll bring it to you when it's ready," he said as he got some stuff ready, "So, you want the usual 'sick day' order?"

"Chicken noodle and grilled cheese? Defiantly," Alfred smiled, "You're really too good to me Mattie, thanks."

"It's nothing Al, really, I'm sure you would do the same for me."

"Yeah, of course," he said distractedly.

Matthew smiled sadly, "now get going! You need to rest."

"Ok! I'm going!" He laughed as he walked off, and then came back "Oh, here's your phone back," he tossed it, Matthew caught it and smiled.

"Thanks Al."

As soon as he left, Matthew sent a message to Gilbert.

_Hey, I heard what Alfred said to you. Are you ok? I'm sorry, I can't believe he did that, I'm so sorry._

_~ Mattie_

* * *

Gilbert sat there on his bed thinking about what Alfred had said to him, and heard his phone buzz.

'_What now?' _he looked at the text, _'oh, it's from Mattie."_

_Aw, it's nothing, I get death threats on a regular basis. I told you that he cared about you obsessively. _He replied.

_Buzz_

_Very funny Gil, so, since I can't do anything today, are you free tomorrow?_

_~Mattie_

"Hey, Ludwig!" He called up the stairs.

"What do you want Gilbert?"

"Are you planning anything for tomorrow?"

"Feli was going to come over but nothing else, why?"

"I'm inviting Mattie over, so yeah, that's cool with you right?"

"Yeah, that's ok with me."

"Awesome," he said.

_I'm free, wanna come over? I can pick you up._

_~Gil_

* * *

_Sure thing, what time?_

_~Mattie_

He shoved his phone into his pocket and picked up the plate with the sandwich and bowl of soup for Alfred. He walked over to the guest room that his brother was staying in and lightly kicked the door as a knock and letting himself in.

"You're lunch is ready," he started to say, finding Alfred snoring on the bed, "what would you do without me eh?" he smiled as he put the food onto the bedside table, pulled the covers over his brother, and left the room.

_Buzz _

_How about 3 or something?_

_~Gil_

_Sounds good, I can't wait to meet your brother, he sounds like a nice guy. _

_~ Mattie_

He headed towards his own room and sat down on his bed, taking out his I-pod and putting it on shuffle.

_Buzz_

_Well, see you then I suppose. _

_~Gil_

_See you._

_~Mattie_

Matthew let his thoughts dissolve into the past as he laid down.

_Matthew opened up his locker and was surprised when he found a bouquet of three tulips, one yellow, one red, and a purple one. This was the third time this week, each time another tulip was added, Matthew had no idea who was doing this, there was never a note, or anything. Besides, no one ever bothered to talk to him anyway, but apparently someone wanted to get his attention. He sighed, '_why don't you just tell me who you are?_' he thought as he smelled the flowers. They were beautiful and smelt just the same. _

'How did this person even know I love tulips, I mean it's not like I've ever mentioned it to anyone before, or for that matter, had anyone _to_ mention it to. Whatever, I need to get to class,' _he thought as he grabbed his calculus textbook and closed his locker._

Matthew never did find out who that was. Whoever they were left him tulips four more times and with the last bouquet, there was a single rose along with the tulips.

'_I wonder whatever happened to that person,'_ Matthew thought.

A sweet sorrow filled melody started to play and made Matthew's thoughts direct to more recent events in the past.

"Mr. Williams?"_ The nurse came into the waiting room to fetch him. He got up and walked over to her, _"Just this way, Dr. Smith will be right with you."

_Matthew sat there in the silence of the room, and took out his I-pod putting it on shuffle. One of his favourite songs came on, _'Nothing else matters by Apocalyptica.'_ He sat there listening to the slow dramatic melody. _

_The door opened, _"Mr. Williams, can I call you Matt?" _He nodded, _"well, Matt, the test results came back from your bone marrow. I'm sorry to say, but they were positive."

_Those words brought a sudden weight that made Matthew's stomach drop, after a few minutes he asked in a small voice that was shaky, _"is there anything that you can do?"

"I am so sorry, but no, we can't," _Dr. Smith looked at him with regret in his eyes, _"is there anyone that you want to call?"

"No, I don't want anyone to know, I don't want them to worry."

"Are you sure? You can't keep it from them forever."

"I'm sure."

~Later that evening~

'I can't believe this, after all this time, I haven't done this for so long. Well I at least had a lasting streak,' _he thought as he pulled out his razors and rubbing alcohol, and started to disinfect the blades, _'Never thought I would go back to this, I thought I was done didn't I? Oh well.'

_He grazed his thumb across the blade, making sure that it was still sharp, and it was. Matthew bit his lip, and slid the razor across his wrist. He let out a small gasp as he felt the sting, and watched it bleed, he walked over to the washroom and leaning his wrist over the sink. He pressed the blade against his skin again, and jerked it, so it was deeper,_ 'I shouldn't be doing this again,' _he thought bitterly, and but the razor down. _

_He stood there, watching the blood drip down into the sink and sighed, _'I guess I should clean this up if I'm not going to do anymore damage.'

_He took out two ragged black towels, ran one of them under some hot water, and pressed it onto the cuts, _'god, this is the worst part isn't it?' _he laughed, wiped the blood off, and rinsed the towel off. Matthew reopened the rubbing alcohol and dampened the other towel, _'doing this is like jumping into a cold shower,' _he grimaced and quickly shoved the towel onto the wound, he gasped and felt both his wrist and eyes sting._

* * *

**Authors note: **Hey guys! I'm sorry this took so long, I've just been busy with some stuff. Thank you to all of the people who have done reviews! I really appreciate the input ^_^ hope you guys are liking it so far!_  
_


	7. Leaving

_Buzz _

Matthew blinked sleepily and looked at his phone, _'12:54, wow, I can't believe that I slept in that long.'_

_Good morning Birdie_

_~Gil_

Matthew smiled at the message and sent a quick reply.

_Morning Gil_

_~Mattie_

He quickly pulled on a black t-shirt that had a slight V neck and white skinny jeans, and went down stairs to make breakfast. As he entered the kitchen he was surprised to find Alfred making waffles.

"Hey Matt, thanks for taking care of me yesterday," He smiled.

"No problem Al, what's all this?" Matthew looked at his brother, "I defiantly did not know you knew how to cook this kind of stuff."

"Well, you can't expect me to know nothing about this, I mean I _am_ your brother and all."

"Thanks Al," Matthew smiled.

* * *

"You must be Matthew, Gilbert has told me a bit about you, it's great to meet you," Ludwig said.

"He's told me a little about you as well, it's a pleasure," Matthew replied smiling.

"So, you guys met three days ago right? It's quite odd how fast Gilbert has warmed up to you, it's nearly impossible to try to introduce him to new people and have him not hate them, you must really be something special."

"Well, thanks I guess, to be honest I suppose I'm a little bit like that as well."

_Buzz buzz_

"So sorry, do you mind if I take this?" Ludwig asked.

"Not at all," he said and left him to answer the call.

"Hey you," Matthew squeaked as Gilbert poked him in the side.

"You had to do that didn't you?"

"Couldn't help myself, sorry Mattie," He smiled.

"Of course you couldn't," Matthew smirked.

"Hey guys, I have to go," Ludwig said as he pulled on a jacket, "Feli will be over in a while, tell him where I went," and closed the door behind him.

"But he didn't say where he was going," Matthew said sounding confused.

"Don't worry, he just had to go to the hospital for something, he's an on call doctor."

"Really? So basically he goes in for emergencies?"

"Basically."

"What hospital does he work at?" Matthew asked.

"The clinic on White ave," He said sounding bored.

'_That's the one I go to, this just might be harder to hide than I thought it would be. I knew that this would never be possible without dragging him into this somehow, I'm being so selfish, I shouldn't keep this up, it'll only end badly,' _Matthew's thoughts were racing.

"Mattie? You ok?" Gilbert put his hand on Matthew's shoulder, and looked into his eyes.

"I'm fine," he said as he put on a fake smile.

"No, you aren't, tell me Birdie."

"It's nothing to worry about Gil, I promise."

Gilbert raised an eyebrow but seemed to let it go, "Well, do you need anything to drink or eat?"

"Maybe some water if you don't mind."

"Sure thing Birdie."

"Thanks Gil."

Gilbert walked off to the kitchen and someone knocked at the door. Matthew got up and answered it to reveal a brunette a little shorter than himself with a coffee in his hand.

"Hello?"

"Hi! You must be Matthew, Luddy said you'd be here and told me a little about you, even though he didn't really know much to tell, to be completely honest," he smiled as Matthew let him in.

"Thanks I guess, you must be Feliciano, am I right?"

"Yup!"

"Hey Feli, how's it going?" Gilbert walked in and handed Matthew one of the two glass of water he had.

"It's good, Lovino is a bit sick, but Antonio came over to help him get better so I could come."

"Oh, sorry to hear that."

"He'll get better, is Ludwig at the clinic again?"

"Yeah, you just missed him by a couple minutes," Gilbert replied.

"He's had to go in more often than usual hasn't he?"

"I guess he has," Gilbert admitted.

They sat there for a while not talking, occasionally taking a sip from their drinks.

"So, how long have you two been dating?" Feliciano asked suddenly.

Both Matthew and Gilbert started stuttering 'ums, uhs, and buts'

Feliciano just laughed and Gilbert cleared his throat, "We just met like, three days ago."

"Yeah, um we're not dating," Matthew added

The brunette raised an eyebrow, "Well I have a feeling that's going to change." Matthew and Gilbert glanced at each other, "I should be going, bye guys!" He said as he left.

They sat uncomfortably in their afterthoughts of what Feliciano had said.

"Wanna go get some dinner or something?" Gilbert asked awkwardly, and Matthew smirked.

"Sure."

* * *

"Hey, remember that band you were telling me about the other day?" Gilbert asked as he was driving.

"Marianas Trench? What about them?"

"Do you have an I-pod or something with them on it?"

"Yes, did you want to listen to some?" Matthew smiled at him.

"I was curious and I couldn't remember the name, so I couldn't look them up. So, you see the cord right there?" Matthew nodded, "Just plug it in there."

"I'd be happy to," He said as he pulled out his I-pod, plugged it in, and selected a song.

_Did I let you down to get that sound  
And break my knees to get release  
And you needed some just to take you from  
And I hit you more  
Is your face still sore?_

_Sorry but I tried_  
_It was never mine_  
_And I can still pretend_  
_I guess it all depends_  
_I'm still a little crazy all the time_  
_But I still try to hide it_  
_That's still mine_

_Try a little more_  
_a little more_  
_a little more_  
_slap you like a bitch_  
_and you take it like a whore_

_What a cheap perfume_  
_I hate this room_  
_So testify_  
_But I still tried_  
_And you need that stamp_  
_Little handshake tramp_  
_And you hit me more_  
_And my face is still sore_

_Sorry but I tried_  
_It was never mine_  
_And I can still pretend_  
_I guess it all depends_  
_I'm still a little crazy all the time_  
_But I still try to hide it_  
_That's still mine_

_Try a little more_  
_a little more_  
_a little more_  
_slap you like a bitch_  
_and you take it like a whore_

_Upside down_  
_and around_  
_and around_  
_Just another piece_  
_Till you need another sound_

_Faze them out_  
_I know what you scream about_  
_Don't let me down_

_And the guilt in me is the hurt in you_  
_And the hurt in you is the lost in me_  
_And the lost in me is the need in you_  
_And the need in you is the guilt in me_

_Try a little more_  
_a little more_  
_a little more_  
_slap you like a bitch_  
_and you take it like a whore_

_Upside down_  
_and around_  
_and around_  
_Just another piece_  
_Till you need another sound_

_Try a little more_  
_a little more_  
_a little more_  
_slap you like a bitch_  
_and you take it like a whore_

_Upside down_  
_and around_  
_and around_  
_Just another piece_  
_Till you need another sound_

"I like it!" Gilbert exclaimed and Matthew smiled as the next song came on.

_Everyones around  
No words are coming out  
And I can't find my breath, can we just say the rest with no sound?  
And none of this is enough  
I still don't measure up  
And I'm not prepared, sorry is never there when you need it  
And now I do, want you to know I hold you up above everyone  
And I do, want you to know I think you'd be good to me and I'd be so good to you_

_I would_

_I thought I saw a sign_  
_Somewhere between the lines_  
_Or maybe it's me, maybe I only see what I want_

_And I still have your letter_  
_Just got caught between someone I just invented_  
_Who I really am_  
_And who, I've become_

_And now I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone  
And I do want you to know I think you'd be good to me, and I'd be so good to you_

_And I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone_  
_And I do_  
_Want you to know I think you'd be good to me_  
_And I'd be so good to you_

_I would_

_And I do want you to know I hold you up above everyone_  
_And I do_  
_Want you to know I think you'd be good to me_  
_And I'd be so good to you_

_I'd be good to you_  
_I'd be good to you_  
_I'd be good to you_  
_I'd be so good to you_  
_I'd be good to you_  
_I'd be good to you_  
_I'd be good to you_  
_I'd be so good to you_

Matthew shifted as the song ended, and Gilbert coughed and said, "We're here." They got out of the car.

"Le Baguette? I didn't really peg you as someone who goes to French restaurants very often by choice," Matthew laughed.

"I usually don't, Francis made me go here one day, and I have to admit, the food is amazing, it's seriously one of the best places to go in this city."

"Wow, it must really be something then."

"It was originally a bakery, hence the name, and then it expanded to being a full restaurant, but their French onion soup with a slice of some of their bread is the greatest thing here, in my opinion anyway," He smiled and held the door open.

"Thanks, I guess I'll have to try it then."

* * *

"That was amazing! Thank you Gil," Matthew smiled.

"No problem, it was my pleasure. Did you want to go back to my place or home?"

"It's getting a bit late, I should probably go home, but you can stay for a while if you want."

"I'd love to."

"Are you sure your brother won't go all batshit?" Gilbert asked.

"It's my house, I can do whatever I want with it and invite whomever I want into it," Matthew said as he unlocked the door and opened it to find Alfred and someone in an intense and passionate kiss.

"Ahem," Matthew cleared his throat.

Alfred sat up revealing a very red faced Arthur, "Um-"

"And you were saying I was rushing into a relationship," Matthew interrupted his brother, "You have no right, to tell me what to do in my personal life and then do everything you were telling me not to, in my house! I took you in because you didn't have anywhere else to stay for a few months, and well it sure seems you have somewhere else now."

"Mattie! I-"

"I don't want to hear it! First you go and get completely wasted because I was finally doing something fun with someone other than you, then you go and give him a death threat for something that he would never do in the first place, and now you go and do this?"

Both Arthur and Gilbert were feeling out of place, being in the middle of an argument between the two brothers that seemed very close.

"Matt," Alfred pleaded.

"What could you possibly say to convince me not to kick your sorry ass out of here?" Matthew snapped.

"There isn't," he looked into his brothers eyes, "I'll go get packed then," and got up to leave.

Matthew looked a bit shocked, thinking that he would have given more of an argument.

"I'm sorry Matthew," Arthur said.

"It's not your fault, just take him and leave."

Alfred came back into the room with his suitcase, "Matt, I'm sorry, for everything, every stupid little thing that I've ever done, Gilbert, take care of him while I can't," he looked grimly around the room, "come on Artie, let's go."

Arthur got up, muttered an apology once again, and they left.

Gilbert and Matthew sat in silence for who knows how long, minutes, maybe hour, small tears slid down Matthews face and Gilbert held him stroking his hair.

"I could stay tonight, just to make sure that you'll be ok, if you want," Gilbert suggested.

Matthew sniffed, "You don't have to do that."

"But I want to."

"Okay."


	8. Short Days With You Last Infinities

Gilbert felt a small, warm figure in his arms, he smelt a sweet honey like scent, he opened his eyes to see he was holding Matthew and lying on his couch. He looked at Matthew's face, taking in all of the details in his expression, and smiled, seeing the small curve in his mouth, everything about him was just so relaxed. Gilbert gently brushed some straying locks of hair out of Matthew's eyes.

"I know you're watching me," Matthew said softly and smiled, not opening his eyes.

"Are you telling me to stop?"

"No," he squinted one eye open and leaned his head up and swiftly gave Gilbert a kiss, "I'm going to go make breakfast, do you like pancakes?"

"Who doesn't?" Gilbert asked jokingly as Matthew got up.

"Wow Birdie, these are amazing," Gilbert said as he finished his plate.

"More like they were, but thanks," Matthew smiled.

"Oh, right, well they were amazing then."

"Isn't your brother going to be worried that you didn't come home last night?" Matthew asked.

"Naw, I texted him once you fell asleep," Gilbert admitted.

"So, you were awake both when I fell asleep and woke up, I don't think that's fair at all," Matthew fake pouted.

"Aww poor pumpkin, you didn't get to watch me sleep, I'm sure that you'll get a chance eventually."

"Pumpkin?"

"Okay, I admit, I regretted it as soon as I said it, it's weird."

They sat there talking for hours and all that time Matthew felt a pang of guilt, for the secret he hadn't told anyone and how it would affect Gilbert if their relationship ever went anywhere.

"Mattie? You seem distracted with something," Gilbert asked in concern.

"I'm fine, you keep asking me that."

"I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"There's no need, I promise," Matthew answered.

"Are you sure? I mean, you can't possibly be completely fine with things being the way they are."

Matthew looked startled, _'how could he possibly know that? I haven't said anything to anyone.'_

"If I was in your position I don't think I would be acting so calm," Gilbert smiled, "You know what? We should go out for a drink; that always makes me feel a bit better, what do you say?"

Matthew thought for a while, "Why not? There's a pub just a few blocks down from here."

* * *

Gilbert and Matthew sat at a booth in the corner of the small pub with a several empty bottles on the table.

"It's getting a bit warm in here isn't it?" Matthew asked with a very slight slur in his voice.

"Well you are wearing a thick hoodie, to be completely honest," Gilbert pointed out.

"I guess that's true," He said as he took it off, "Then again you're wearing a hoodie too."

"Mine must be thinner then."

"Perhaps," he said as he reached to get his drink, exposing his wrist.

"Mattie, are those what I think they are?" he asked seeing the faint scars. Matthew retracted his arm back, but the damage was already done, Gilbert had seen them, "You know it's ok," He said as he pulled up his sleeve and showed Matthew that he also had many scars along his forearm as well. Matthew looked at Gilbert in surprise, he laughed, "Nobody is perfect, we all have a past. Just promise me that you won't do it again, those look pretty recent, know that I'll always be here if you need someone to talk to," He said as he pulled him into a hug.

"Thanks Gil, I appreciate it."

"It's no problem, I know what you're going through, well okay, I don't know the reason that you have done it, but I know how it feels to be going through something that causes you so much pain that you think you have to turn to that."

"I think I've had enough to drink," Matthew hiccupped.

"I think you've had enough too, let's go," He flagged down their waitress and paid, "Let's get you home."

"Okay, are you staying tonight too?" Matthew asked.

"Well, considering how much I've had to drink I suppose so," He laughed.

"I'm good with that," Matthew smiled.

* * *

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

"Ugh, what?" Gilbert answered his phone.

"_Where are you!"_ it was Ludwig, _"Feli and I have been waiting for you to get home since you said you'd be back before midnight."_

"Bro, when'll you stop worrying about me? I'm like 3 years older than you, seriously," He replied sleepily.

"_Gilbert, you do live in my basement, so when you don't come home, you could be anywhere, and I wouldn't know. I feel responsible for you, I don't care that you're older than me. Ever since we were kids I defended you whenever Grandpa got mad at you, so now I feel that I still need to protect you."_

"Lud, I'm fine, I'm just at Matthew's again, and we had a few drinks, so I decided to stay over again, ok? Really, I'm a responsible adult, I just forgot to text you, sorry. I'll most likely be home tomorrow."

"_Okay, just tell me next time this happens, okay?"_

"I'll try, bye."

"_Bye."_

_Click._

"Mhmm," Matthew stirred, "who called?"

"Just Ludwig, I forgot to tell him I'd be staying another night."

"Way to go," he said with sleep lacing his words.

"It's just that I'm supposed to be the one taking care of him, and worrying when he doesn't come home, or anything like that. It isn't his job to act like a parent to me, it's _mine. _You know what I mean?"

"Well, I can't say that that I've been there, but I can understand where you're coming from."

"Yeah, I guess we both have over protective brothers," Gilbert stated.

Matthew laughed, "I guess so," he was quiet for a few moments, "Do you think that I was too harsh on him? I mean, I just kicked him out, like _that_ and, uhg, I don't know!"

"Birdie, you did what you thought was right, he was being a total hypocrite and you just stood up for yourself. It was a choice that needed to be made, and you had to show him that he can't control your life. And it's not like you're never going to see each other again, both of you are very stubborn, from what I've seen, and it's going to take a lot more than you kicking him out for you and him to never speak again," He smiled.

"I guess," he replied, "you know you're probably going to have to go home tomorrow, otherwise I don't think Ludwig will be quite pleased with me."

"Probably," he laughed.

"What time is it anyway?" Matthew asked.

Gilbert looked at his phone, "It's two in the morning, wow Lud is even more obsessive than I thought he was."

"Wow, okay, I'm going back to sleep."

* * *

**Author's note: **gahhhhh I'm so sorry this is taking so long, I just have NOT had time with school and everything, so I hope you guys still want to read this and such

I'm sorryyyy, I'll try to update more often


	9. Some endings come faster than others

"So, when do you think we can see each other again?" Matthew asked as Gilbert was about to leave.

Gilbert thought for a moment, "Any time is good with me, you?"

"Mmm, well today is Tuesday, I don't really have anything planned for tomorrow, but on Thursday, I have a Doctor's appointment at 3:45."

"Do you mind me asking why?"

"Oh, it's just a checkup, I had a really bad cold a few months ago and they wanted to make sure it wasn't anything really bad," Matthew said sort of quickly, Gilbert found this a bit odd, but shrugged it off.

"Well, okay then, so do you want me to pick you up for your appointment?" Gilbert offered.

"Ah, no thanks I'll be fine, I'll call you when I'm done," he smiled.

"Cool, maybe see you on Thursday then," he grinned in return.

"Sure, now get out before Ludwig decides he never wants you to come over again."

Gilbert laughed, "I'm going, gosh you're so pushy," he said sarcastically as he got into his car, "Thursday, see you then! Bye."

"Bye Gil."

Matthew watched as he drove away, _'I shouldn't do this, he's way too good for me and I'll only hurt him in the end.'_


	10. Apologies

"Do you really think this is a good idea?" Alfred asked.

"I'm sure of it, you need to at least apologise, and tell him that he was right," Arthur answered, "Oh, and tell him I also apologise, because _somebody_ forgot to mention that it wasn't that _someone's _house."

Alfred smiled weakly, "I did say that I was sorry, didn't I?"

"Obviously I need a refresher," he remarked.

"Well, I apologise, it completely slipped my mind to tell you that it was his house, it didn't seem important at the time."

"Hmm, how exactly can something be forgotten _and _not seem important, at the same time?"

"Oops... I guess it was one or the other? I don't remember! Can we just let this go; I defiantly didn't want that to happen in the first place."

Arthur rolled his eyes, "Bloody git, okay, back to the matter at hand, you need to apologise to Matthew."

Alfred sighed, "What if he really hates me?" He said in a half whisper.

"He can't hate you _that _much, even if you are a complete dumbass, it wasn't that big of an argument to be honest," Arthur gently placed his hands on Alfred's, and looked him in the eye, "It'll be okay, I promise." He leaned over and kissed him on the forehead and smiled.

Alfred smiled in return, and exhaled heavily, "Okay," he dialed Matthew's number and pressed call.

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ring_

_Ri-_

"_Hello?" _Matthew answered with a squeaky sounding voice.

"Mattie? It's me Al, is now a good time to talk?"

He cleared his throat, _"I'd rather do this in person, if that's okay with you."_

"No problem, I'll be over soon."

"_Bye."_

_Click_

Arthur looked at him questioningly, "What's going on?"

"Mattie wants to talk in person," he shrugged, "I guess that's a good sign, right?"

"Sounds like it, see I told you it would be alright," Arthur teased.

"Hmm, I think it would be best if I didn't have you along," He paused.

"Obviously, do tell him that I was sorry about the whole incident."

"Okay, I'll remember."

* * *

_Knock knock knock_

'_He's here,' _Matthew inhaled nervously, and opened the door. Seeing his brother, he pulled him into a tight hug, which was immediately returned.

"I'm sorry for everything Mattie, I'm so sorry."

"S'okay Al, I shouldn't have been so hard on you," Matthew said in a quiet, shaky voice.

"No, it's isn't," Alfred stepped out of the embrace, "You were right to do what you did, I was a massive hypocrite, I was telling you that you shouldn't be diving into a relationship with someone you hardly know, while I was doing the exact thing, and in your house no less! You were right to say that I have no right telling you what to do in your personal life, because it's just that, _your life_, not mine."

Matthew smiled sorrowfully, "Thanks Al, but that isn't the only reason that I asked you to come over."

"Matt, what's wrong?"

"I- come inside," He said ushering him in and closing the door behind him, _'oh god, I can't tell him, it'll tear him apart, maybe it's best if he doesn't know.'_

Alfred took a seat in the living room, worry swirling about his mind, Matthew sat across from him.

"Matt?"

Um, I- never mind, it's not important, forget I said anything."

Mattie, seriously, tell me what's wrong?"

"N-nothing, just drop it okay?"

Alfred raised an eyebrow, "Whatever it is, if it's important you'll tell me eventually right?"

"If it was important yes of course."

"Well, whatever it is, I'll be here for you if you need me."

Matthew smiled in return.

A few moments past in comfortable silence until Matthew spoke again in a quiet voice, "You can move back in if you want."

Alfred grinned, "Thanks Matt, but there's really no need, my house will be done in less than a week, I can tough it out with Artie 'till then."

Matthew laughed, "So how is he coping with living with you then?"

"Coping? Am I really that bad to live with?" He said jokingly, "He's doing fine, he actually asked me to apologise again for what happened, because he feels totally guilty for the whole thing."

"Even though it wasn't really his fault?"

"Yup."

"Wow, okay, tell him it's okay, I'm happy for you two."

"Really? Thanks Mattie," He smiled, "So, talking about relationships and such, what happened between you and Gilbert while I was gone?"

"Nothing much I guess, he stayed over until this morning."

"He did? Son of a bitch, I'm going to go strangle him right now."

Matthew rolled his eyes, "It's not like anything actually happened Al."

"Why should I believe you? For all I know, you two could have had like, sympathy sex or something."

"Wow, like that would totally happen between us, no we just stayed in the first day, and went to the pub and had a few beers the next day."

"You two got drunk together?" Alfred looked astonished.

"Not drunk, we just had a few, that's all."

"This is bad, very bad, I mean, it took him at least two months I mean, after they started dating, for him and Liz to get drunk together," Matthew raised an eyebrow, "Okay, to get a _few drinks, _but this is really, most incredibly, bad."

"And why, may I ask is this ok so bad?"

"Because, he only gets drunk around the people he cares a LOT about."

"Wouldn't that be a good thing then?" Matthew asked quizzically.

"Of course not, just because I said I shouldn't be telling you what to do in your personal life, doesn't mean that I'm going to stop. You'll always be my baby brother, no matter what you do."

"Oh I see, it's just bad because you don't want me to grow up, well, sorry to be a downer, but believe it or not, he isn't the first to ever show interest in me."

"WHAT? And you didn't tell me?" Alfred was appalled.

"Al, you so remember that I went to high school, things happen, you know that," he said plainly.

"Excuse me? I- nope, just, what? How many?"

"Does this really matter Al?"

"Yes!"

"Um, I only ever dated one guy here, but he turned out to be a total jerk, and then back in Canada when I first transferred to normal school; there was someone who always left me flowers in my locker, never found out who it was though."

"So nothing ever, like,_ happened_ right? Please god tell me you didn't."

"Don't worry my innocence is still whole, but really Al, it is none of your concern, I can sleep with whoever I want, however many times I want and it shouldn't affect you."

"I know it shouldn't, but you don't understand Matt, I'm your older brother, I _have _to make sure that you're not going out and doing stupid things like me, it's my job to be a hypocrite in these situations," Alfred's phone buzzed.

Matthew rolled his eyes, "Yeah, whatever, okay I'm sure that's Arthur making sure I didn't freak out and kill you because of what a horrible person you are, and I really need some sleep."

Alfred checked it, and sure enough it was him.

_Everything okay?_

_~Arthur_

"Yeah, I guess I'd better go make sure he doesn't burn down the apartment because he tries to cook something, those English, I swear it's in their blood to be cursed forever to burn all of the food they touch, see ya Matt," he said as he headed out the door.

"Bye Al."


	11. You Can't Keep Secrets Forever

3:45

"Matthew Williams?" A nurse came into the waiting room to get him, he retraced the same footsteps he took as the last time he was there to the same room where he found out that his life is being be cut short, "Dr. Smith will be with you shortly," she said as she closed the door behind her.

True to her word, he came in after only a few short minutes, "Matt, so how are you?" He sat down.

'_Translation: how are you coping with the fact that you're dying?'_

"I guess I'm fine."

"Well, that's good right?" he smiled, "Well, from what I recall, you said that you weren't going to tell anyone of, well, you know, your _illness_. How's that plan going?"

'_Translation: get your shit together and man up, people will want to know that you might not last too long.'_

"Perfectly fine, thank you very much, I still don't want anyone to know, I don't want to be treated special just because I'm going to die."

Dr. Smith looked disappointed, "You shouldn't say that, there is hope."

Matthew's eyes widened, "But you said that it was terminal, that there wasn't anything you could do."

"Well, there isn't anything that we know for sure will make everything go away, but that's the case for all cases like yours, but we can try. I don't want to get your hopes up, because your situation, well, it's very severe, it must have been there for at least a year or so before it was noticed."

'_Translation: you're basically screwed, but I'm trying to make you look on the bright side.'_

"Oh, okay."

They spent the better part of an hour going through all of the different processes, and their side effects, until it was finally time to let him leave.

'_You'd think that they could take less time out of a dying person's day,' _Matthew thought to himself.

He accidentally bumped into a tall figure, "Sorry," Matthew squeaked.

"Sorry, wait a second, Matthew?"

'_Shit,' _he turned around to face the person, it was Ludwig.

"Um, hi."?

"What are you doing here? This is generally a severe case ward," He looked skeptical.

"Uh," Matthew froze, "Well-"

"Matthew, who exactly are you seeing or just saw?" He sounded exasperated.

Matthew sighed in defeat, "Dr. Smith," he replied in a small voice. Ludwig looked surprised, "Please, can you not tell Gil, I need to do this myself, I know I'm being selfish just by being around him, but I can't cut him out, I want to but, I just_ can't, _please Ludwig," Matthew pleaded.

Ludwig cleared his throat, "Is it really bad?"

Matthew looked down, "I guess so, they say it has to have been there at least a year, there's really no hope to be honest."

"How long have you known?"

"Three months."

"Have you even _told anyone?_"

"No, I guess you'd be the first."

"Matthew, the sooner you tell them, the easier it'll be, trust me, I've seen this happen to dozens of patients."

"Thanks for your input, but I really think that I can handle this," He said as he turned to leave, only to be stopped by a firm hand on his shoulder.

"At least think about telling _someone, _no one can go through what you are alone, I've seen it wreck the best in people, and I don't want that to happen to you," He let go of Matthew's shoulder.

Matthew turned to face him, but he had already left with a swish of his white doctor's coat.


End file.
